Well not too sure about today - I felt rather weird I must have been stressed because my heart rate while exercising on the stationary bike was way above where it should normally be which is a bit concerning but still managed 18.2k in 35 minutes so that was a positive.
I also had an one to one with my boss which I think also contributed to the stress. I really dislike this sort of thing -even though I am told I do well - still the person I need to convince is me not other people and this I find hard if not soul destroying. I think this self doubt is in part what leads to my problems with depression. I have to admit it did feel good to get a few things that have been nagging at me off my chest - maybe what I need to do is have more regular one to ones which would stop things building up to the point where I can't cope.
Band practice was good - the music seems clearer now I have the new contact lens in the left so hopefully there won't be as many accidentals in the wrong place from now on. Still think the 1812 is a bit of a bogey piece for us but we certainly have a better chance now of making a go of it.
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