Back to the grind?

Here I find myself again sat in the office I share with my colleagues, although at the moment I sit here alone. 
I happen to like the quiet time of  the office almost if not more than when the office is busy and noisy.
It gives me a quiet space in which to think what the day and at this time the coming year will bring.
I know I am going to find the next few weeks a bit difficult personally as it runs up to the 10th anniversary of my fathers passing.  I miss both my parents immensely especially at this time of year.
So I take comfort in the silence around me that gives me time to think and remember and to quietly thank God for all the good memories I have of this time of year.

A la recherche du temps perdu

This year has really taken its toll following Colin's passing and it really took me a long time to come to terms with the reality of it.

In some respects it did raise doubts with me for a while, however I feel that it has strengthened me in other ways in that I perhaps value the life I have and the people around me more than I previously thought I did.

When someone passes it leaves a void for a time that you think it is impossible to fill and to a degree it is impossible to fill it - mainly because the person who has passed is no longer there as a physical person, so you have no one to interact with and get a response from regarding what they think or how they feel.

What is left to you though is a memory of the personality and a rememberance of their persona that allows you to think the thought "What would X have thought of that?" or "What would Y have said about that". Sometimes this can be a positive feeling and help you gain another perspective from a point outside yourself but within your own persona, which has taken an imprint of the other persons attitudes and beliefs.

It helps me sometimes to do this as it helps in the rememberance of the person who has passed.

Strange Emotions

This week has been one of the strangest I have encountered in a very long time and has left me feeling quite sad, confused and to a large degree very depressed.
Sadly I had to attend the funeral of a very dear and close friend who, at the same age as myself, succumbed to cancer after a very short but ultimately courageous fight, at the end of March. I saw him a few weeks before he passed and we talked, all too briefly to be sure, and it was is we had never been apart.
We had been friends for about 36 years, meeting on our first day at university and keeping in touch despite the distance between us ever since. We would talk every so often and meet on occasions and yet it never felt as though we were apart and could pick up where we left off.
Bizarrely our career paths sort of shadowed one another although with slight nuances between them.
Now the earth has borne my friend away and I feel like I have abandoned him even though my own beliefs tell me that he is in safe hands.
The funeral service we held for him was full of rejoicing and thankfulness for the life he had lived and the lives he had touched and the contributions he had made. Everyone who was there had only wonderful things to say about him and I was happy he was remembered fondly by so many.
I don't think I previously understood the concept of 'Anam Cara' - the soul kinship that some feel until this moment but I do now and my heart feels torn in two by the loss of the brother of my soul and I pray that you rest peacefully till we meet again.

A Woman Bishop

And about  time too.

Today's consecration of the first woman as a Bishop here in England is something of a turning point here in England.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30984743

Actually I think personally this is a great day only marred by someone who let their own prejudices ring out in an unseemly fashion which did nothing to improve the validity of his case or his arguments against this historic move.