This year has really taken its toll following Colin's passing and it really took me a long time to come to terms with the reality of it.
In some respects it did raise doubts with me for a while, however I feel that it has strengthened me in other ways in that I perhaps value the life I have and the people around me more than I previously thought I did.
When someone passes it leaves a void for a time that you think it is impossible to fill and to a degree it is impossible to fill it - mainly because the person who has passed is no longer there as a physical person, so you have no one to interact with and get a response from regarding what they think or how they feel.
What is left to you though is a memory of the personality and a rememberance of their persona that allows you to think the thought "What would X have thought of that?" or "What would Y have said about that". Sometimes this can be a positive feeling and help you gain another perspective from a point outside yourself but within your own persona, which has taken an imprint of the other persons attitudes and beliefs.
It helps me sometimes to do this as it helps in the rememberance of the person who has passed.
